I’m intrigued by the possibility that somewhere in the Roland corpus there is a passage or an image that is emblematic of the psychological state you describe. I find that your concluding sentence, “Cosmic insignificance and specific importance seem to not be in conflict, and this is what’s unsettling”, could express a description of a particular focalization of an episode in the chanson de geste or even an attitude on the part of later translators.

I reverse the syntax of your formulation to arrive at a way of describing the cumulative effect of hypertextualizing a corpus. As a practice that through collection and close reading(linking) it conspires to confer the “specific importance of cosmic insignificance” on the reading experience.

I appreciate reading this, because sitting in lectures (even if it’s on a topic I am interested in) drives me absolutely bonkers. I can watch two people having a conversation, but if it’s one person lecturing, I have a great deal of trouble focusing (except for one professor, but his lectures are like watching a Robyn Williams monologue). I’ve learned over the past two years that I will assimilate even less of the content if I take notes; if I just listen hard and try to absorb it, I’ll retain a lot more.

And, like you, I feel this is a failing on my part.