Words’ End

Achy throat, achy body, chills, inability to stay awake at 8pm, interrupty sleep… aw, man. Highly inconvenient. Well, at least I’ve got the Moon keeping me company in the skylight.

Cures for what ails ya (or me, anyway, specifically today, more specifically when the ailment is wintertime depression and life’s turbulence):

Long walk with a good friend, conversation, laughter and groceries. Ocean’s Thirteen. Making a good-hearted effort to connect with someone, even if it brings no result. Getting things out of the house that need to be got out of the house. Reading fluffy sci-fi. Napping with the cats.

Mental and emotional clutter: successfully reduced. Though at a price, as it’s 3:30am, and I get up in five hours to go listen to a lovely Tibetan man tell me about meditation and related practices. On the other hand, there’s nothing quite like the delight of middle-of-the-night quiet. As quiet as we get around here, anyway, what with Nochka tearing around the room in feline ecstasy (this is one of her three or four usual states). Aki watches her indulgently – such behavior is beneath him except when it’s not – and bats her away when she gets too close.

TUCSON, Ariz. – A preliminary study of the active ingredient in psychedelic mushrooms has found it is effective in relieving the symptoms of people suffering from severe obsessive compulsive disorder, a University of Arizona psychiatrist reports.

Dr. Francisco A. Moreno led the first FDA-approved clinical study of psilocybin since it was outlawed in 1970. The results of the small-scale study are published in the latest edition of the Journal of Clinical Psychiatry.

Psilocybin is, as you will surely know, the psychoactive ingredient in mushrooms of the Psilocybe genus. The article above is a fun little read, and the Erowid link… well, Erowid may not be a “little” read, but is always fun and educational. :)

(If you follow the second link above and find the information interesting and well presented, won’t you donate to Erowid before the year is out? They are the largest online repository of information on psychoactives from caffeine to smart drugs to heroin; they do some great work, and are supported entirely by [non-governmental!] donations. Definitely a worthy cause to support.)

It is 46 degrees F outside right now. That’s 8C. After sunset, in mid-December. The high to day was 13C (55F). Is this crazy?

Yes, it is, and a good time for a bike ride too. I went out to the East Bay Bike Path, on the other side of the Providence river and then along the bay. It takes a while just to get to the path, maybe forty minutes or so, maybe a bit less. From the ending point on that map, I went roughly 8.5 miiles each way, to Barrington, stopping for coffee and book reading.

20 miles or so, in four hours, including coffee break and strong wind on the way home. Bliss. Hopefully, though, next time I’ll remember to wear the bike shorts.

I’m trying to lose weight, by the way. Not stridently or anything, just by watching for a too-heavy reliance on convenient bread products – balancing them out with proteins, eating more veggies which is just not intuitive for me in the winter, being more conscious of whether I’m hungry or thirsty, as the latter sometimes seems like the former. Oh, and exercising somewhat (not as diligently as I’d like). Lately I’ve noticed a small budge toward the lighter side, but I feel better than I should for losing so little weight. Hopefully this means increased metabolism, and more healthy proportions of nutrients. Just in time to have some hot chocolate with Bailey’s!

“Depressed? Think faster thoughts, and your mood may improve.”

Hunh! Simple, elegant, worth a try. I guess it’s very similar to “Depressed? Try doing some physical activity.” That works too: people work out, for example, to lift their mood; or clean house like a whirlwind. Still, thinking faster. I’d never thought of that.

If you know me at all, you know that the senseless, expensive, misguided “war on drugs” is a bit of a hobby-horse of mine. Today I saw streetdrugs.org for the first time, and decided to look at what they say about marijuana.

Why pot? Well, because it is (as streetdrugs say) “the most widely used illegal substance in the world today,” and because it’s a Schedule I drug (rated as dangerous as heroin, and more dangerous than cocaine). Also, because marijuana prohibition has a long political history having to do with disliking immigrants. No, really: go read this FAQ (and its various disclaimers) on Erowid.

Before we go any further, here’s another useful link to an article titled “The top 10 pot studies government wished it had never funded.” Now, to the streetdrugs article about marijuana.

Marijuana is made from the plant cannabis sativa…

Actually, sativa is only one of three species of the cannabis genus that qualify as sources of “marijuana”: sativa, indica and ruderalis.

The plant, cannabis sativa, contains chemicals called “cannabinoids.” THC (delta-9-tetrhydrocannabinol) is the cannabinoid believed to be responsible for the psychoactive effects of cannabis.

THC can be found in all parts of the cannabis plant, including hemp. This is why hemp is regulated carefully–some hemp products such as clothing, rope, yarn, lotion and soap are legal products because they do not cause THC to enter the human body.

Would be nice if you’d mentioned that the cannabinoids are also produced endogenously in our brains. Not only that: in order to react to any chemical, we have to have a receptor for it, and we certainly do have cannabinoid receptors. Studies of whether we can take advantage of having these receptors by tickling them with THC seem to have promise in many areas of medicine, including treatments of Tourette Syndrome and cancer.

Streetdrugs quoting the DEA:

There are no FDA-approved medications that are smoked. For one thing, smoking is generally a poor way to deliver medicine. It is difficult to administer safe, regulated dosages of medicines in smoked form. Secondly, the harmful chemicals and carcinogens that are byproducts of smoking create entirely new health problems. There are four times the level of tar in a marijuana cigarette, for example, than in a tobacco cigarette.

True enough, about tar. Problems, though: (a) I have never heard of anyone smoking the equivalent of 20+ joints a day, whereas the pack-a-day cigarette habit is quite common; and (b) why doesn’t anyone ever talk about vaporizers in the “mainstream”? THC evaporates at a lower temperature than is needed for combustion – voila, no (or few) bad volatiles.

Streetdrugs quoting NIDA:

Smoking marijuana may increase the risk of cancer more than smoking tobacco. Marijuana smoke contains 50% to 70% more carcinogenic hydrocarbons than does tobacco smoke. It also produces high levels of an enzyme that converts certain hydrocarbons into their carcinogenic form–levels that may accelerate the canges that ultimately produce malignant cells.

See the link to Ten Studies above. To their credit, Streetdrugs go on to add:

In May 2006, a study was published by UCLA that disputes the claims that marijuana causes lung cancer. To read the press release, click here.

Moving along:

Marijuana is usually smoked in the form of loosely rolled cigarettes called “joints,” hollowed out commercial cigars called “blunts,” smoked in pipes or bongs. Joints and blunts are sometimes laced with a number of adulterants including PCP, cocaine and embalming fluid (a chemical traditionally used to preserve dead bodies)–resulting in a wide range of effects…

You know, you could just say formaldehyde. But whatever. I’ve no idea whether street-purchased marijuana is laced with anything, but somehow I seriously doubt that all those hippies (not to mention the many peoples who used pot way before we were born, we’re talking Biblical times here) would do such a thing. You want to combat drug selling on the streets, fine, but don’t be blaming cannabis for human hubris.

SHORT TERM EFFECTS of marijuana use include impaired short-term memory, impaired concentration, attention, and judgment; impaired coordination and balance, increased heart rate, blood shot or red eyes, dry mouth and increased appetite (the “munchies”).

Fair enough, these are some widely known effects (not all of them necessarily bad, by the way) of ingesting marijuana. But consider this: it’s a plant. It can be bred. Forget human intervention; natural means it mutates. Don’t you think it’s possible that some strains of pot have different effects, like increased concentration? Erowid (link above) lists its classifications as “Intoxicant; Stimulant; Psychedelic; Depressant.” That’s a hell of a range.

LONG TERM EFFECTS of marijuana use include addiction (psychological), paranoia, persistent anxiety, impaired learning skills and memory difficulties.

Kudos – seriously – for not claiming that there’s physical addiction associated with marijuana. As for the rest, particularly learning and memory, see the Tourette’s-treatment link above.

MEDICAL COMPLICATIONS associated with marijuana use include an increased risk of chronic cough, bronchitis, and emphysema; increased risk of cancer of the head, neck, and lungs; a decrease in testosterone levels and lower sperm counts for men and an increase in testosterone levels for women and increased risk of infertility.

Nice, returning to the cancer-risk bogeyman and painting it as a definitive complication even though they themselves linked to the UCLA study. The rest of these aren’t substantiated by Streetdrugs.

More information claimed to be from NIDA:

Within a few minutes after inhaling marijuana smoke, an individual’s heart begins beating more rapidly, the bronchial passages relax and become enlarged, and blood vessels in the eyes expand, making the eyes look red. The heart rate, normally 70 to 80 beats per minute, may increase by 20 to 50 beats per minute or, in some cases, even double. This effect can be greater if other drugs are taken with marijuana.

OK, let’s see. Bronchial passages enlarged… it’s a bronchodilator! I wonder if we can treat asthma with it? Also, I’m assuming the blood-vessel expansion isn’t limited to the eyes (why would it be), and together with an increased heart rate that means better blood flow. Then again, blood vessel dilation is also a “known cause” of headaches (NYTimes article, not freely available so not linking). But is headache listed as one of the effects of smoking pot? No.

Studies show that approximately 6 to 11 percent of fatal accident victims test positive for THC. In many of these cases, alcohol is detected as well. In a study conducted by the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, a moderate dose of marijuana alone was shown to impair driving performance; however, the effects of even a low dose of marijuana combined with alcohol were markedly greater than for either drug alone.

“Many of these cases”? How many? And what other substances are found in their bodies? And how many fatal accident victims have nicotine in their blood? What about alcohol (and only alcohol)? “6 to 11 percent” means little if you don’t compare it with other numbers. As for the NHTSA study: a moderate dose vs. a low dose combined with alcohol. What’s wrong with this comparison?

Cancer of the respiratory tract and lungs may also be promoted by marijuana smoke. A study comparing 173 cancer patients and 176 healthy individuals produced strong evidence that smoking marijuana increases the likelihood of developing cancer of the head or neck, and that the more marijuana smoked, the greater the increase. A statistical analysis of the data suggested that marijuana smoking doubled or tripled the risk of these cancers.

Here we go again! OK, I get it. You want me to think that pot smoking causes cancer. This isn’t presenting information, at this point, because (a) you’ve already mentioned cancer, and (b) what study? Where are the findings?

Necessary disclaimers: I Am Not An Expert. I am not contesting the possibility that marijuana smoking may have negative side effects. I am, however, railing against the ubiquitous misinformation about it out there, and severely displeased with how much money has been spent on holding up this straw man. How about closing the doors on the War on Drugz, and instead pouring all that money into real research? Maybe we’ll cure cancer in our lifetime.

I’ve been in a slump of varying sorts. Luckily, it’s ending.

Work is going… well, it’s going. At least some of the projects that had been stalled, are moving. The way this was accomplished means a lot more work for me, but at this point I’m happy to do it, rather than battle communication issues.

I’m terrified of the impending end to the grant period (not until June, but still!). We’re running out of time. On the other hand, this makes things exciting, and now when I say “X has got to be done now” people can’t ignore me, or tell me to go take a chill pill.

Submitted an abstract for a conference right on the due date (of course), and a book review somewhere between a few days and two weeks late (depending on how you look at it… considering the book is 450+ pages long, and dense, I’d say not bad.)

Got sick on Monday with whatever it is that Ethan has. He’s almost over it; I managed to sneeze myself into a half-hour long nosebleed yesterday, and coughing hurts like a… a thing that hurts a lot. Have you ever tried to cough gently when sick? Yeah, doesn’t work too well.

My poor, long-suffering mother has to find yet another person to help her take care of gramma (who is at home with Alzheimer’s). This will be the fourth: the woman who lives with her currently has to leave for personal reasons. Sigh.

Been getting back into music while working. Don’t know why I took such a long hiatus, but finally made an iTunes playlist of all my songs with no lyrics (635 of them). It helps me work, it does.

Two good friends are due to become parents any day now! Making beef stew for them to throw in the freezer (which is, reportedly, full of tasty goodness made by various folk) was by far the culinary adventure of the month. I haven’t made food with so much intention in a while.

The world keeps spinning. Dick Cheney stuck his foot in his mouth big time – BBC’s article is fairly neutral, but the photo speaks volumes. The story of Sony’s viral software is more than meets the eye, says Wired – it’s a great article on corporate bullshit and companies that make virus “protection” software, please read it.

When I grow up, I want a hidden door in my house.

Speaking of labyrinths, Nick Montfort has released another interactive fiction piece, his first in a while, called Book and Volume. Looks interesting. I was kind of indifferent to his Winchester’s Nightmare and absolutely loved Ad Verbum. Haven’t played any IF in a long time, perhaps it’s time to start again? :)

Burning Man 2005 has been photographed from above, and someone posted a particularly beautiful shoton Flickr.

Just because I haven’t posted any more November-photo-month pictures, doesn’t mean I haven’t been taking them. In due time.

Time to catch up on work.

Dear brain,

This note is to remind you that when there is any suspicion of a possible ulcer,* getting a cup of coffee with your bagel is a really stupid idea. Deciding to keep drinking it when it makes you feel crap, however, breaks the idiot meter altogether. Please stop.

Cordially,

-YOUR OWN INSIDES OF WHICH YOU ONLY GET ONE SET

*went to the doctor yesterday. hopefully will find out what the hell is wrong with me early next week.

Heh. I think I’ve finally gotten so fed up with the misinformed propagandistic drug-war polemic that I’m becoming a self-appointed spokesperson for correct information. [Article is not mine; two of the many comments are.]

Not that I’ll get it right every time. But, damn. When academics stop thinking and start implicitly equating a glass of wine with alcoholism, it’s a sad scene.

Although this isn’t new: just this morning E. and I were talking about scientific nomenclature. So much of it is legacy code, based on incorrect assumptions. As just one example based on Ethan’s current coursework, different algae are often grouped together by being named the same thing. Another example is “inorganic carbon,” another name for carbon dioxide, most of which is – well – organic. The thing is, even when we realize our mistake the language stays the same. For HUNDREDS OF YEARS. This is actively damaging, because we end up teaching and learning incorrect information, and then have to unlearn it, which is very difficult to do. Language defines and constantly mediates our world for us, and so learning why our naming practices are incorrect requires reorganizing a world view.

Last week, on the autumn equinox, was our first-first wedding anniversary. (We got married in the fall, and again on the spring equinox of this year.) We went camping, journeyed through the woods, gathered large sticks and cooked hobo stew wrapped in aluminum foil, drank prosecco out of the bottle and watched the fire crackle its way through the dark dark evening. Everything was alive, down to the myriad of spiders everywhere. I stayed away from the spiders and clung to my love, thankful and still amazed at the fortune of meeting him.

Today is my grandmother’s 90th birthday. Was, technically, as she was born in Baku (but is Jewish, not Azerbaijani) and it’s well past midnight there. I talked with her on the phone, and am pretty sure she didn’t really know who I was. She’s in that stage of Alzheimer’s where she sounds both lucid and calm, but that’s because she’s gotten used to the denial of going with the flow of whatever we say. Something to the effect of, You’re my granddaughter? Oh, that’s nice, dear. How nice of you to call.

Talking to her these days is creepy and sad. There’s no point in talking often: I’m a bad granddaughter, haven’t felt particularly close to her since my early teens and was terrible at writing letters from America when she was still living in Kishinev with my grandfather. He passed away in 1997, and she moved here in… 2000? 1999? something like that.

But they did help raise me, and I have many memories of their apartment with its dusty books and knick-knacks and tiny well-loved kitchen and grape vines overgrowing the windows and pigeons nesting in the vines. My grandmother read many newspapers and cooked tasty cheese wafers.

She had stunning black hair and a great sense of style. She flirted with my grandfather by leaning out the window, so that her shoulder-length mane would fall to the side like Rapunzel’s.

She waited for her husband to come back from world war 2 while caring for their three children with one other woman’s help. She watched one of her two sons slowly waste away when he, a chemist, was stricken by chemical poisoning and his workplace didn’t even acknowledge that this was possible, and didn’t support him at all.

She taught, first in schools (history) and then at the university (history of the Party). Her long-ago university students came to visit her up until she left the country. She played bridge with grampa and her friends. She would sit there and watch me eat, smiling with delight. She didn’t really drink, but smoked a pack a day until, I think, grampa died and she moved out of their place to a friend of the family’s, waiting for her emigration documents. They’d lived in that apartment since 1953.

She’s had a dignified, full life. Every once in a while the blind injustice of her chronic brain disease washes over me in a wave of dread.

Isn’t she beautiful?