Words’ End

My grandmother died last night. We’re flying to Lost Angels on Monday. I’m numb, don’t really know how I feel.

It was time – she’d had Alzheimer’s, had stopped recognizing my mother. None of that makes it better.

I had a dream about her last night. It involved … well, first we were sitting around a table with a very earnest Young Pioneer in dress uniform saying Very Earnest Things. Then we (babushka and I) were watching that same person on a webcast, or something. She said something inane, and we both went “That’s bullshit!” in unison. And the video stream blinked out. She then turned to me and said, “Maybe her feelings were hurt.”

The funeral will likely be on the 2nd – the day, in 2001, when my father died. Might as well make a dark day darker, I guess.

So far this winter, in New England (southern, but still New England!, with our share of snow storms!), we’ve had about five minutes of what appeared to be small hail. This is as close as we’ve come to having snow. So far.

Now, either this means OMG GLOBAL WARMING WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE, or Nature has some tricks up her sleeve for my [hope, wish, sacrifice to deities of academe] graduation at the end of May.

Meanwhile, a 41-square-mile ice shelf breaks free near the North Pole. Global warming it is!

James Brown has died. Long live his music!

(Via WorkBook, who also posts a link to “Santa Claus, Go Straight to the Ghetto”.)

We spent Friday-to-Saturday night awake, Ethan and I and Jennafer the Awesome Housemate and friend Dave, celebrating Solstice. There was cribbage and Futurama and coffee with Bailey’s and whiskey and talking and cheese! Omigod the cheese. I’d bought clochette for the first time (not at that site, locally – but isn’t that a nice photo?), and it was all that with bells on. Other cheeses too, St Marcellin and a Portuguese semi-hard goat cheese marinated in olive oil and herbs.

There was so much cheese that, when we had crepes the next morning, I did not want any cheese with my crepes. I’ll wait for the gasps of horrified wonder to subside.

And then we had a really slow and sleepy day, at the end of which some friends from Virginia showed up and we had pumpkin risotto made by yours truly. I love making risotto. If your ingredients are good (and mine included homemade broth, thank you Mr. Chest Freezer), it’s dead easy and deeply satisfying.

Now, I’m taking a headache break while five people finish up dinner – dolmas (oh yes, hand-rolled) and chicken biryani.

To summarize: I LOVE FOODIES.

Happy Light’s return, everybody.

Today and tomorrow are of exactly the same length here in Providence, but not necessarily in other places. !!

So we’ll have two longest nights, and defy tradition and celebrate the newly-lengthening day on Saturday. But it doesn’t matter when you celebrate it. Light is coming back! Light a fire to greet it, and stay warm. Happy fires, everybody.

TUCSON, Ariz. – A preliminary study of the active ingredient in psychedelic mushrooms has found it is effective in relieving the symptoms of people suffering from severe obsessive compulsive disorder, a University of Arizona psychiatrist reports.

Dr. Francisco A. Moreno led the first FDA-approved clinical study of psilocybin since it was outlawed in 1970. The results of the small-scale study are published in the latest edition of the Journal of Clinical Psychiatry.

Psilocybin is, as you will surely know, the psychoactive ingredient in mushrooms of the Psilocybe genus. The article above is a fun little read, and the Erowid link… well, Erowid may not be a “little” read, but is always fun and educational. :)

(If you follow the second link above and find the information interesting and well presented, won’t you donate to Erowid before the year is out? They are the largest online repository of information on psychoactives from caffeine to smart drugs to heroin; they do some great work, and are supported entirely by [non-governmental!] donations. Definitely a worthy cause to support.)

“Ha! Thank you, Sherlock:

Everybody is doing it,* and has been for quite a while.

That’s the conclusion of a study of trends in premarital intercourse over the past half-century.”

“All right! That’s why we need science. To tell us things we already knew, in ways we can’t deny.”

*Washington Post link. Login required.

Here’s one for history buffs. If you know anyone interested in this sort of thing, please pass it on: I’d love to know more about The League of Roland.

In 2002 I had the opportunity to visit the Oxford libraries repeatedly, and to dig out Really Obscure Stuff relating to Roland. Right now I’m looking at [part of] Roland: Country First, “published privately by The League of Roland, 45a, High Street, Market Harborough, Leicestershire.” They seem to have been a group of folks dissatisfied with the state of England, and proposing some crackpot ideas as to how to restore the Empire’s former glory.

It couldn’t be more stereotypically British, really. Check out the first paragraph:

This league is founded in loyalty to all existing institutions, by men confident in the health of the British people and their government, to help to fulfil the destiny of the British Empire and all Britons overseas. Its first aim is to support the government in winning the war.

The dedication reads: “To three trusted men – Mr. Winston Churchill – Lord Beaverbrook – Mr. Ernst Bevin – they are excellent.” So that helps date the piece: “the war,” one presumes, is WWII.

My question to you: who are/were these people? Google, Britannica and Wikipedia know nothing about them. Any information at all, including pointers as to where else I might look, would be appreciated. Please don’t suggest I go back to the UK, though: my resources are so scarce and the desire to see those hallowed shores so vast, that a suggestion of this sort would break my heart.

Great, now I’m starting to sound like them. Anyone? Bueller?

[Edit: what I'm looking for is information on The League of Roland, not the Churchill & co.]

I was in a relationship some years ago, which ended very, very badly. About half (no more, no less) of the blame for this lies with me.

Every once in a while I’ll go back and read what everyone involved, and not involved, wrote about the break-up. I have no idea why I do it. It’s painful and demoralizing, from two different sides. On one hand, I am still ashamed at how I’d behaved then. On the other, I reel with disbelief at how others behaved – the others who knew me but only heard the other side of the story, and the ones who didn’t know me at all. It’s one thing to support your friend, but I wonder if it ever occurred to any of them that I might be reading their comments, and if it did, whether they gave a damn about the human being who was their target.

Most of this has been resolved for a long time now, both explicitly and implicitly. Even the people I am angriest at, those who didn’t (still don’t) know me, are past. They were knee-jerking, protective of their friend, and also ganging up like children do in the playground. So why do I go back and read things that were written in anger, often by people who’d never met me? Why does this matter?

Most of the time it doesn’t. But I go back to re-read it every once in a while, knowing that it’s neither particularly productive nor good for me. This bothers me.

Dear LJ feed readers,

Just as a reminder, since several people have left comments on the feed posts lately: there’s no way for me to get notified of them, and so I might not see yours if you make it on LiveJournal. Besides, your comment will be lost to the buzzing void when the post in question is dropped from the field.

So: if you’d like to make a comment, please to click on the URL that appears right below the title, and above the text, of each post. There, you’ll be able to make your comment – and it’ll be saved for posterity, too!

I’ve had a recurring conversation with LJ readers about whether I’m imposing too much work upon you. As I see it, you just gotta click on the URL instead of the “leave comment” link. The rest of the effort is pretty much identical, except that you have to enter in your name and stuff. So, sorry if you feel put out; but as I’m trying to distance myself from LJ a little,* I’ll be trying to not actively check past feed posts for stray comments.

Love,

-Words’ End

*”Distance,” in this case, means “stop obsessively reloading friends page, that won’t make people write any more or faster.”